Stood still staring at nonentity seconds after I closed the door. And then I saw it, the distance between me and the closest thing there is in front of me. I saw the emptiness that filled it all up. Footstep at a time, I got closer and closer and my skin touched its cold dead surface.
I forced my self a little more against it. Still, no changes. No matter how close I get to it, emptiness still voids.
Your scent still breathed in the doorway, I could still smell a glimpse of it, its delicacy. Might it be you, might it be your presence right here in this room. I remembered you, and the way you used to scatter your clothes around our room just to find that favourite sweater of yours. I remembered your favourite perfume bottle which you always kept on our near bed shelf, how you would drown yourself in its sprays once you got ready and how you would walk around the house with your beautiful scent getting caught up in every piece of it.
I breathed heavily trying not to consume all that's left of it. But it soon came to an end. And the hospital smell came across me.
The horrid, painful smell of hospitals that I brought home with me was more than enough to clear my head from all happy thoughts of you. I screamed. I yelled. But it didn't relieve the pain. I blamed the god all of you talk about, the god I once believed in. But it didn't make sense either. What kind of greater purpose does this hold? As much as I hate to break it to all of you, it doesn't. Taking away a person doesn't and could never hold a great reason behind its cruelty. Leaving me with nothing but memories of him, my soulmate, is nothing but unreasonable. And there's no one to blame for it.
They say that it'll get better and I'll move on. But I don't want to. I don't want to move on. I want to move back. I want to get you back, I want us back. I want to look into your eyes and gaze into your smile. I want to hold you and not let you out of my sight. I want to kiss you over and over again. I don't want to get back home alone anymore. I don't want to remember you and cry. I don't want you to be just a memory. You're not. You'll never be.
